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Confessions
Confess your deepest secrets here, anonymously, if you'd prefer
I won't judge
submitted by Anonymous, age x, x
(October 15, 2020 - 1:43 pm)
(October 15, 2020 - 1:43 pm)
Ty for the tips!
(January 10, 2024 - 8:02 pm)
Top! Is this thread dying!?
(January 16, 2024 - 1:41 pm)
Is there a word for when you want to be exclusive to someone and are ok being in a relationship with them as long as that means exclusivity? But don't necessarily want to do romantic/other things with them?
I've had squishes and with those I didn't want exclusivity, I just wanted to have deep connections with the person. I did not want to be called a couple. Is this just a different kind of crush?
(January 16, 2024 - 7:58 pm)
I think there's a lot of words for a lot of things and some of them are up for interpretation. You could be describing wanting to be in a queer-platonic relationship (QPR) with someone. Kind of like a romantic relationship, but not necessarily romantic. Maybe research that concept a bit and see if it fits what you're feeling? I hope this helped.
(January 16, 2024 - 8:52 pm)
yeah, i know a dude, we're "queer platonic" or whatever. it can be a fulfilling thing. LOOK INTO IT FIRST THOUGH
(January 16, 2024 - 11:33 pm)
There are a lot of things this could be, and it really mostly depends on how you want to define things. (I’m less strict about labels than a lot of people because it causes way more stress than it’s worth in my opinion.) It could definitely be a qpr, which has a lot of definitions, like “a relationship that doesn’t fit neatly into the platonic or romantic categories and is defined by the people in it”. It’s often also described as, like, a friendship but a bit different from how that person experiences friendships - often because of more commitment. I think the focus on exclusivity would sound a lot like a standard qpr/how I see a lot of people describing it. Another thing to look into are tertiary attractions, like alterous (which is similarly weird to describe but honestly the definition for a qpr is the same XD).
Importantly, there’s no set rule for being friends or in a romantic relationship or anything. Like, romantic partners don’t have to kiss or marry or live together, and friends can do any of those things. The best advice i have is that you’re the only person who can define this (kind of like with gender), so do what is comfortable for you.
Also, i don’t like calling a qpr “like a romantic relationship but not romantic” (nothing against the person who said it, i just don’t think it’s a good definition). First because this is based on expectations of romance having certain things, and second because honestly a large part of qprs for a lot of people is getting away from the expectation of romance. I just don’t think it’s a helpful description really.
If you have questions or want more advice/info let me know!
(January 17, 2024 - 7:38 pm)
what you're describing just means that you really like the person and want to be friends with them! or, perhaps, it's a crush, and the things that feel right to you in a relationship aren't what the media (silly movies, magazines, etc.) call "romantic." it could be either one :)
(January 17, 2024 - 8:43 pm)
yeah dude!
everyone had good points. romantic and platonic attraction can be all sorts of things. it's a sliding scale, or a spectrum, not Definitive Factual Answers. which is beautiful! find out what works for you, see if the other person reciprocates, and... enjoy! whatever bizarre social configuration makes you and the other person(s) happy and satisfied! everything varies. the answer to almost every question is "It Varies From Case To Case." but that's a boring answer.
(January 17, 2024 - 11:21 pm)
Ty! This helped a lot!
(January 20, 2024 - 4:19 pm)
I get super bored and go on the internet and sometimes I read stuff that's kinda innaproprate by accident. What do I do?
(January 17, 2024 - 6:51 pm)
the simple answer is: don't go on the internet :/ tbh, the great danger of the internet is exactly what you're describing - it's so easy to get into inapproprate stuff even if you weren't trying to. Which is why it's best not to use the internet too much. Or at least stick to certain sites that your parents check out first. If you want to research something, ask a parent or other trusted adult to help you!
If you'd like some ideas for other things to do when you're bored, here are some suggestions :)
-go for a walk around your neighborhood, alone or with a friend/family member. Take time to notice the houses, the sky, the flowers (or the snow, if it's winter XD). Take some photographs, if you enjoy photography. You can explore, trying different streets, or stick to the ones you know and love. Just make sure it's okay with your parents for you to be out alone :)
-read - I'd be happy to give book recs if you need some new stuff
-listen to music (for a completely internet-free experience, try a CD). Again, I can give you some song recommendations if you want to try new music.
-do something nice for your family, like baking a cake
-play with a pet or a sibling
-write a letter to a friend or an older family member
-try playing a board/card game with friends or family
-try some arts/crafts, like calligraphy, knitting, crocheting, flower pressing, bookmark designing, painting
-design a bookmark and leave it in a library book for someone to find
-do some gardening - maybe plant some flowers or just pull up some weeds lol
-try doing some cooking
-come on the CB! You can always try out Kyngdom, which will probably take up a lot of your time and thus cure your boredom :) it's also really interesting to just scroll through old back pages of Random Thoughts.
-go through the photos and videos you may have taken over the years, and delete any that aren't worth keeping - and enjoy seeing all the old familiar places and people.
-write something, if you're inspired
-read any old letters or birthday cards you have
-draw some birthday cards for whenever they might be needed
-ask an older family member to tell you what he or she remembers about growing up. You might be surprised at the stories people have up their sleeves! My grandparents are always coming out with the most amazing things - their way of life was so different from the one I have, and I love hearing about their tales of bygone eras.
-consider taking lessons to learn a new hobby or sport, like ice skating
-enjoy having nothing to do - no deadlines, no people breathing down your back, no life-changing decisions to make...
I think that might be all for now... I hope all these ideas help! Lmk if you want any more advice :)
(January 17, 2024 - 8:59 pm)
I felt like I needed a space to just be sad and stressed and insecure.
(January 21, 2024 - 7:48 pm)
me too.
(January 23, 2024 - 11:23 pm)
i just wish he liked me as much i like him
(January 21, 2024 - 8:24 pm)
I know
(January 24, 2024 - 4:01 pm)