Funny Things my

Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket

Funny Things my

Funny Things my Friends Have Said, because Leafy's one died but this idea is too good to not have a thread for. Post your funny things here!

-"YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME?  *continued*" 

-"Which joke is dirtier, Oliver's Cheetos or the fajitas?"

-"Keep it PG, we say *censored* here"

-"Rest in pieces, fidget pen." 

-"Can you do me a favor and put a 'kick me' sign on Oliver?"

-"Captain America is just a 100-year old guy on steriods with a frisbee"

-"You're so disappointed by my lack of Super Mario knowledge"

-Gavin: Eliza is just a girl with messy hair and insomnia

Me: Hey that's not wrong

-"If I saw Dear Evan Hansen my soul would become a pile of goo on the floor."

-"You look like Shrek"

-"I think Logan just called me mentally weak"

-"Oliver should run the 666-meter in track!"

-"This confetti sucks"

-"I am SORRY I do not know what a METHANE HYDRATE IS-" 

submitted by Soren Infinity, age 27 eons , BeaconTown
(April 27, 2019 - 11:05 am)

Quotes from my class. My class is all boys except for me -_-

N: "Toro! Bull!"

Teacher: "You already used that one." 

N: "Tor..a! Is tora a Spanish word?"

Teacher: "I don't think so. What does it mean?"

N: "A... female bull?" 

~~~

Teacher: "We like you, R." 

Me: "We do?" 

~~~

*after reading a mystery story in Spanish*

J: Guys! It was the female bull! 

*realization dawns on everyone's faces* 

submitted by Jwyn, age 14, The Realm Of Creativity
(April 29, 2019 - 4:13 pm)

all quotes from my sister:

 

"i'm a fuzzy ping-pong ball!"

"frappachino."

"reese's cups."

 

i'm not kidding with any of these. she says them regularly. 

submitted by Nyx, age 12 years, earth
(May 31, 2019 - 11:27 am)

I love these! Here's a few:

"Unnecessary comments are...unnecessary."

C: Doooont do it!! Dooont do it!

D: Too late!

C: I said don't do it!! 

"Please don't bite into that tomato like an apple"

"It's moist and gunky!"

L: I'm not crazy!!

A: *raises eyebrow*

L: Ok, I am completely crazy. 

 

submitted by Dandelion
(April 30, 2019 - 8:12 pm)

"STRIP!"

"Get out of my lunchbox!"

"You are a very bad girl, and so is Toby . . . . OOPS" 

"What? You get to kill Cora? I wanna kill Cora! I wanna kill EVERYBODY!" 

 

submitted by Spiffy, age OY, Char's Desert
(May 1, 2019 - 9:48 am)

These are all from my past and present play production friends! Including me ;)

"He need some orange slices!"

"Whazzupppppp"

"Quackson"

"Hey, ahh- ahh- CHOO"

"Ben you look like a candycane."

"Yeet or be yeeted out of the kingdom"

(All in Aussie accent) "Kroinky, mate!" "Koala bears" "Kangaroos" "Im Bear Grylls" "Which one, the rope or grappling hook?"

"What the heck are feathery eyes?"

And so on. 

 

 

submitted by Tuxedo Kitten, Mourning with Hawkeye
(May 1, 2019 - 10:38 am)

here are some of my favorites:

*from my high school musical production* And It's Bolton, Dad, not Troy!

 

"WHERE ARE YOUR HEADS, KIDS?!"

"In the ditch, coach, in the ditch..." 

(sorry admins)

 

*whispering* Children Getting Married.

*spits out milk*

 

*As I entered STEM* Yeah, it's pretty fun. I'm surrounded by idiots, but it's pretty fun.

 

Yeah, I think I should play that part. Looks pretty hot. 

 

*Context behind this one: I created a joke question for a warm-up and showed it to a boy.*

WHY ARE 70% OF YOU IDIOTS?!

*In my defense, STEM class is 70% idiots.*

 

If that boy comes back, I'm gonna run down the whole hall and chase him down. Be right back, Ma'am.

 

*bullying video woman* finish this sentence: kids would be happier if...

*kid IRL* they got free ice cream.

 

Where did you come from, where did you go, where did you come from, people I want to talk to...

 

Get your head in the game! *slams head into computer*

 

How do I create a sidebar in google sheets?

T's not google.

Hey google.

I'm not google either! 

 

moral of the story: nothing in life matters.

*someone else* LIFE IS MEANNINGLESS! 

 

You better GET YOUR YEET ON!

 

It-it's refusing to connect!

* turning around* that sounds like a you problem. 

 

Sincy looks like a fake Power Ranger.

 

KYLIE COSMETICS

 

I'm gonna be every girl 2019 HEY FFIIFTERF

Every nine year old ever HEY FFIFFTERFF

 

Hello there! my name is YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYE

 

All the posty notes that say "Seal of Approval" are mine... bonus points if you find the buff one.

 

B, do you still have the buff one?

uh...no.

HOW DID YOU LOSE THE BUFF ONE? THE BUFF ONE WAS MY FAVORITE ONE B- 

submitted by Ella Starburst
(May 1, 2019 - 12:11 pm)

"If J.'s homework is inevitable, is my homework Iron Man?"

submitted by Soren Infinity, age 27 eons , BeaconTown
(May 1, 2019 - 8:22 pm)

I love that XD

submitted by Alizarine
(May 5, 2019 - 7:28 am)

C: "Ugh, my hands hurt so bad from band yesterday."

Me: "Well, no pain, no gain, right?"

L: "Yeah, you've gotta suffer to be good at things. It's why I'm so talented. Every single day, I go home and... cry." 

submitted by Abigail, age Old enough, Inside my head
(May 2, 2019 - 6:06 pm)

These are things said in my math class

"I ripped my pants on the car chair"

"Is 86 cents equal to a $1.20"

"What do you do again when you divide by a negative, chickachicka FLIPPPPPP"

"This one doesn't even have a face, it's like I'm a ghost"

"how am i supposed to hold this lance, it needs some back leverage" 

submitted by Barnswallow
(May 4, 2019 - 8:46 am)

"Oh, oh, oh, it's a hula hooping mermaid!"

 

"CAN OF WORMS.

Stop saying can of worms!"

"I like tomatoes. I can't find tomatoes. I need God's help to find me tomatoes." 

submitted by Spiffycat, age OYYYY!, Colthaka
(May 4, 2019 - 1:41 pm)

-"BIIIRRD!!"

-"Wait. where's the Eastern Seaboard?"

-"Your eyes remind me of a salamander's."

 

-Me: "Stop writing meow on my notebook!"

-Friend: "Meow?"

 

-"If it was anyone besides you people, I'd be concerned."

-"Santa Paws is our saviour-bow down and worship!"

 

-S: "Gullible is written on the ceiling."

-T: "What?" *Looks up* "That's not how you spell gullible."

-S: "Huh?" *Looks up*

-T: "Hah!" 

 

 

submitted by Spell Caster, age 52 Seasons, Light Years Away
(May 5, 2019 - 6:01 am)

@Alizarine thanks XD I'm already obsessed with Endgame, so.

-"You're the winter to my soldier... you're the toilet to my paper!"

-"Oh mah goi that hyphen has a fingerprint"

-"Oh no Curious George fell off a cliff NNNYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAOWW"

-"and another one's down and another one's down and another one turns to dust *snaps fingers*" 

submitted by Soren Infinity, age 27 eons , BeaconTown
(May 5, 2019 - 7:57 pm)

Here are some more from my wonderful Literacy class~

 

-Logan *hiccups*

Adam: Yeah he gets hiccup attacks

-Lula: My essay stops mid sentence

Gibby: Your essay stops mid essay

-Meghan: I was reading about the tsar bomba yesterday and it reminded me of you, Sean

Gibby: Big Sean energy

-Lula: Maybe my fingers misled me

-Ayda: I'm having a rough day.

Katie: Yeah well so is Lula

-Gibby: Curly fries? Lit. The Vietnam War? Not lit.

-Boris: I won't commit any crimes until I'm eighteen!

-Boris: Michael, Michael, Michael... free gum? Free gum?! FREE GUM?? FRE-

Michael: *two octaves above his normal voice* GET AWAY FROM ME!

-Meghan: I want to do a cartwheel but I don't want to get arrested for disturbing the peace

Lula: Ok..... 

-Lula: My word means tending to talk a great deal; talkative

Boris: Oh, like you?

-Lula: On a scale from one to ten that was probably about a six in intensity

Boris: SIX?! A woman got STONED TO DEATH

-Lula: Our teacher is currently going to the printer, where seven of us are working on the esaay we're supposed to be printing. Oh no, oh noooooo 

submitted by The Girl Next Door, age 14, Washington
(May 6, 2019 - 5:54 pm)

Is the 2nd to last one talking about The Lottery? I remember reading that in class last year. Definitely more than a 6.

submitted by Abigail, age Old enough, Inside my head
(May 31, 2019 - 10:44 pm)