Blackfooted Bobcat said it all so much better than I ever could but I'll put my two cents (wait- one cent? I think it's two cents... I wonder why?) here too Ig

first off- Silver!! Hello!! Good to see you!! We've been reading Ray Bradbury in class and Ray Bradbury now forever makes me think of you after those two pieces you put on the writing thread lol, so yup!! Super excited to see you!! :D sorry I sorta feel like I'm fangirling over you now haha... maybe I am :)

second- even if you didn't make it to nationals - which btw is such an accomplishment already that you were in the running to make it to nationals, so congrats! - doesn't mean you're any less of a talented writer! You're an AMAZING writer; as I've said before, I look up to you so much!! Your poetry, your prose, everything! And btw, everything I say I mean 100%, and I promise I don't lie about that bc genuineness is my *haughty tone* ~one and true pride~ hmph! (ok, jk, I have other prides. But I am particularly proud of being genuine). So yes you are an amazing amazing amazing writer, trophies or not, just in case you need a reminder of that!

third- ugh, grades. :/ I honestly don't have much advice. As Bobcat said, don't overwork yourself!! Make sure to take care of yourself, even if it's something as simple as eating your favorite food or listening to music or taking a moment to listen to the birdsong. Or look up pictures of snakes in hats. Yes. Do that. Right now. :D umm.. well, Ig if you ever need any help with grades or stuff, like you don't fully understand the material or if you need a deadline extension, don't be afraid to ask for help? Other than that, best of luck!! We're always here for you if you need it!! <33

- about the friend thing: yeahh I can relate :/ I don't really know what your situation is, but Ig a thing you can do is send them an email or whatever, about a silly topic (e.g. anatidaephobia, the ship of Theseus thought exercise, snakes in hats :p) or... well, Ig showing them that you care? Assuming that you're drifting apart from them because you don't have enough time/energy for them or whatever, you can organize a date to hang out apart from school (and here I have to add the word "playdate" bc I live in defiance of that Diary of a Wimpy Kid book - uh sorry obscure references ignore that) or you could communicate to them that you're not really feeling up to stuff right now but still want to be friends and what's happening and stuff?? Maybe they could help?? Idrk if that helps, but again, good luck!! <33

- and I think the thing is that you don't have to change everything in your life; just change what's manageable, one step at a time?? How much are those wise words and how much are those substance though? Ok but ignore my pessimism, just... well, as Bobcat said, take care of yourself! Give yourself some slack if you mess up - as Meg's father says in A Wrinkle in Time, "I am a human being, and a very fallible one." You're human! It's normal to make mistakes, and I think I'd be worried if you didn't. So don't stress if you make a mistake, and take care of yourself, because you asked: what is the point? The point is that you are very much worth taking care of!

ofc, taking Peri's line, I am just a (relatively) very young little kid on the Internet, so take from this what you will. Yupp... a little kid who is currently procrastinating all her homework and her mom is like DO YOUR HOMEWORK so uh bye? :) <-- yes what a great ending    <333 

Feiya says CKYBB... see, okay, thank you Blackfooted Bobcat? :D I pressed the preview button... now she says NUTIO. So either she thinks we're crazy or she think cheerios should have nuts?? *gasp* wait Feiya, you're a genius! Just imagine it! We'll call it... nuttios!!

first of all, like BB said, you missed your writing goal for the first time in fifteen months - you know what that means? you met your writing goal for fifteen months. and that alone is worth celebrating. i'm not saying this means you aren't allowed to feel upset about missing your goal, but i do think it's important to acknowledge and celebrate how much you HAVE achieved, and not focus solely on what you haven't. and i can say a similar thing about not making it to nationals - you still worked hard to get as far as you did! you still put yourself out there! that's worth celebrating, too, even if you didn't get as far as you wanted. and yeah of course you're allowed to be upset about not meeting your goals, but i just hope you realize how much you have accomplished, and that this shouldn't discourage you from entering contests and setting high goals for yourself in the future <33

and yeah, like BB said, while i don't know everything that's going on, it sounds like you might be experiencing burn out (sameee :p). and i think that while it's important to keep setting goals for yourself, it's also so important to take care of yourself, and not expect to be able to operate at one hundred percent all the time. just...yeah, take care of yourself: listen to music, go to bed early when you can, read books, write for the fun of it. of course grades are important, but your world shouldn't revolve around getting straight a's, and as hard as it may be not to, you shouldn't sacrifice your mental or physical health for it.

and the last bit - yeah. i always tell myself that this is the day i change and become more extroverted and braver and actually experience life, but i feel like nothing i do ever makes any difference. but the thing is, you can't really expect a change like that to happen overnight. just try to make a little bit of progress every day, i guess: text that person back. take a different route home just to add some variety. set aside some time before you do your homework to just relax. just...idk, live, i guess. because as important as your grades and goals are, at the end of the day, the important thing is making sure you're happy, and that you're taking care of yourself.

because you absolutely deserve to be happy, Silver. you're an incredibly kind and creative and talented person, and just because you didn't meet that goal doesn't mean you're any less of a wonderful person <333

i hope this helped at least a little bit :p if you need anything else, just lmk <333

(also it's late and i'm typing this on my phone, so i'm sorry for any typos or grammatical oopsies :p) 

@BB Thank you so much, it really means a lot <33 I'm trying to take everything one step at a time and breathe through it all. I got a good score on my SAT, I'm off to see some colleges tomorrow, and I got all my grades except one up to an A, so things are looking up. I still haven't made any progress on the writing front but I'm trying not to force it, you know? Also I can't believe you remember those small details I mention in my random ramblings in our chat (which I SWEAR I will respond to as soon as I get the time), ty :P

@Celine Ahhh omg it's so weird (in a good way) to know that you think of my writing when reading actual published authors! Thank you so much! I'm struggling a lot with my writing (as I'm sure you know), so that means a lot. Also, SNAKES IN HATS!!! Don't ever apologize for writing these long posts, they're so fun and helpful to read! I am also currently procrastination homework, so we're in this together.

@Pangolin Thank you!! I am indeed burnt out. This time of year is just the hardest to get through. I just have to make it through to AP exams and then hopefully it'll get less stressful from there, although I still have to do the whole college thing, which is really not ideal. But I'm trying to be more easy on myself and put my writing on the back burner for a while while dealing with school and other things. Your words really really meant a lot <333

aw, i'm sorry, Darkvine <333 *hugs if you want them* feelings are complicated and messy, and you shouldn't feel obligated to explain/express them, but ofc if you need to talk, or to help sort out your emotions, we're here for you <33

i don't really have any advice, but maybe listen to music, or something? sometimes songs can help you express your feelings in a way you can't/aren't ready to (and if you ever want song recs or anything, i'd be happy to supply those). or if you have someone to talk to irl, try talking to them? 

idrk what else to say and this probably didn't help much, but if you ever need anything, i'm here <3

That sounds terrible! I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel that way (and if I have please don't hesitate to tell me, 'cuz I probably don't mean it; you can do it anonymously and be like CELINE you should be more idk adjective or smth? Also sometimes I'm lazy and don't reread stuff and that might be way if my tone comes off as aggressive or lacking (bc of the lazy/tiredness) or smth) <3 I honestly don't have much advice, but if you want a virtual hug, here's a big one for you *bear hug* I feel like it'd be lying if I said that we all love you since I don't know who you are, but I do love every CBer on here, which includes you!

I'm sorry D: that sounds frustrating. I'd say anything you're noticing is probably unintentional—it's hard for a lot of people [me included] to find time to respond to anyone/everyone, especially on things like group chats. For example, I post really infrequently on my group chat, which I feel terrible about—but I don't have a lot of time to be on the CB and especially not when I'm writing something long that I want to put a lot of thought into, because it's important to me [such as group chats]. As for people not interacting with you—it's always hard when specific CBers are mentioned or responded to more frequently than others :( but just know we never mean to hurt you, or anyone. And I know that unintentional slights can also really hurt, and I'm sorry.

I also want to say that you posted this a few hours ago and already have several responses. Doesn't this show how much everyone cares? We love you, whoever you are!!

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that :( I'm not sure if I am the second someone you mentioned, but if it helps, silence, listing your name last, or not interacting with you doesn't neccessarily mean a person doesn't want to talk to you or interact with you. There are endless reasons why they might not be responding or seem like they aren't interested in replying. For example, they could be busy, stressed out, unsure how to respond, etc. I try to remind myself this whenever I start mindreading people's reasons for their actions, and I really hope this helps you too <3

Oof, that's awful, I'm really sorry. Idk if this would work for you, but whenever I have a really bad dream, I can just kinda... close my eyes and trust that it's a dream and wake up eventually?? But yeah, still. Sending sweet dreams and comfort tonight!! :) <3 

*shudders* 

Ugh, that happens to me sometimes as well. It's the worst! If you want advice, mostly I would say read one of your favourite books, preferably one that isn't super dark or scary, unless that kind of stuff is soothing to you. If you don't want advice...whoops. XD