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ConfessionsC
Confessions
Confess your deepest secrets here, anonymously, if you'd prefer
I won't judge
submitted by Anonymous, age x, x
(October 15, 2020 - 1:43 pm)
(October 15, 2020 - 1:43 pm)
Hey! So I got a bf today... :)
(January 4, 2023 - 11:39 pm)
Oh? Care to spill the tea~
(January 5, 2023 - 4:27 pm)
My current gender crisis:
Me: I'm cis, right? Right?!
My brain: *shrugs*
Me: RIGHT?!
(January 5, 2023 - 8:19 am)
that's me too tbh. im genderfluid so i just switch between "hmm maybe im cis and just faking being genderfluid" and "hmm maybe i'm trans and just faking being genderfluid". it's a vicious cycle lol
(January 5, 2023 - 11:07 am)
heh heh. Genderfluid gang yay!!
(February 11, 2023 - 5:15 pm)
AAA STARLI THAT'S AWESOMEEEE
(January 5, 2023 - 11:53 am)
I'm generally quite eloquent and moderately chill.
But around one (1) person, I am a blubbering mess.
And I have no chill.
And I collapse into fits of giggling and incoherent speech and "I want to jump off a microwave".
And I have no idea what to do.
(Because foresight and hindsight are 20/20 but in the moment I always royally mess up.)
So there.
(January 7, 2023 - 4:28 pm)
Heh. Same.
(January 9, 2023 - 10:54 pm)
i want to make aes.
You should create an AE with a personality you'd like to have.
Admin
(January 7, 2023 - 10:44 pm)
Oh wow, you should totally make them~
(January 8, 2023 - 12:04 pm)
So I don't want to make anyone feel bad and I hope this doesn't but recent comments (more the replies) made me think of this. The people who replied are absolutely fine, I just feel more isolated by the minute.
I'm autistic, and it affects me more than just being a different way of thinking. Is there anything wrong with it affecting you that way? No! But for me, it's also related to how I can't brush my teeth. How I can't talk a lot of the time, and typing can be hard too because my hands don't work, and words don't work well, despite me being a writer. How holding utensils is hard, and I mostly eat fish sticks or chicken nuggets because of that and issues with texture. And I will chew on basically anything, including my hands and I think I've chewed on cords before. And it's related to a lot of other things, too, but it's always hard to figure out where one starts and another ends.
And before you ask, it's probably not going to get better - as time goes on, I get more and more exhausted at having basically no help and health issues deteriorate and things get worse. And my parents are so focused on fixing me, making it not an issue, that it's hard to get the things I actually need (for instance, an AAC app to talk on, which would fix so much). Also it's hard to communicate when it's hard to communicate, haha. And if I had the things I needed and had help, I'd be more or less fine with that because that's how it is. (Before you ask, a lot of the time I physically cannot type, especially when I actually need to say something.)
I just wish more people acknowledged that autism is a disability. And my case is on the lower side of severity. I don't really know what I'm trying to achieve by saying this, I just... I'm tired of the disabling parts being ignored.
You communicate very well in this comment, BB. Maybe you can show it to your parents. I sincerely hope you get all the right kinds of help that you seek.
Admin
(January 8, 2023 - 12:51 pm)
I see this. It makes a lot of sense. I hope you get what you need.
(January 9, 2023 - 1:25 pm)
I agree that there is a huge issue with the way Austism is thought about in the public conciousness, and that more should be done in helping those who struggle with it. It most certainly is a disability and understanding of and compassion for that fact is painfully lacking in most. I've heard plenty of horror-stories, and even seen some play out in my day-to-day life, but I still can't imagine what it's like to live with it, even without the social stigma.
Anyway, I am with the Admin here -- from what I've seen you do communicate well in your posts; I've always admired you for being so well-articulated and constructively critical in your analyses/writings. It's really a shame that it causes you such physical discomfort to do so -- I never would have guessed. If anything, that only makes you seem more incredible though in my opinion!
Anyway, I'm split between telling you to remember not to overwork yourself and encouraging you to follow you dreams, difficult as they may seem to be to achieve. You're an amazing person, BB, and I sincerely hope you do end up finding some help that will allow you to be more comfortable and successful in life. It would also be awesome if your family could come to see you in a more compassionate light, instead of trying to "fix" you, and allow you an alternate way of communicating. It's often pretty difficult to handle these kinds of situations, and an unwillingness to listen or stay open to new ideas is only going to make things harder.
Best regards though, BB! If you've come this far, I believe you can continue along and flourish! Good luck!
(January 9, 2023 - 11:20 pm)
Thank you :D I might reply a bit more later when my hands are working better.
(January 11, 2023 - 9:02 pm)
I hate being touched & I flinch at the slightest things. If someone touches me, even if it's lightly (especially if it's lightly) or even if it's by accident, I want to scream and I can barely keep myself from slapping their hand away. It's not just strangers/people I don't know that well -- I cannot stand being touched by my parents & sister, I cannot stand hugging my mom and grandma, which sounds horrible. My family doesn't like this part of me, because like I said I hate when they touch/hug/etc. me, and they frequently mock me for it or force me to hug people goodbye even though I've clearly expressed that I don't want to & that it makes me uncomfortable. I always feel so terrible and selfish for not wanting to be touched, but I just cannot bear being touched and I feel like no one in my family understands. And also, like I said before I flinch very easily, something my classmates are far too aware of -- they'll constantly make fun of me for it. There's this one kid who keeps dropping his notebook which causes a loud noise and pretending like he's going to punch me, just so that I'll flinch, and I know that if I tell him to stop he'll just laugh it off & keep doing it. This whole thing has been going on for years now and there's no clear reason for it. I hate this part of me, how I can't handle being touched even by the people I love, how I avoid certain situations if I know it means I'll be touched, how I flinch at the slightest things, and how nobody seems to understand it. Sorry for the rant :/
I understand your not wanting to be touched or to hug. I wish your family and others would respect your feelings. And I startle easily, too!
Admin
(January 9, 2023 - 5:34 pm)